


Kiss Of Life (or, Arthur Has A Lot Of Feelings)

by bedegraine



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Kitten Resurrection, really a copious amount of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-09
Updated: 2011-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bedegraine/pseuds/bedegraine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur looked at him in shock. For the briefest second he felt a flash of annoyance. Because here was Arthur, vehemently trying to deny his feelings for Merlin, trying to get over him and let them just be friends; and here was Merlin, crying because he couldn't save all the orphaned kittens in the world. For a second, Arthur was competely furious with the fact that Merlin was so compassionate, that he was so caring and ridiculously big hearted. And then Arthur was just hopelessly in love with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Of Life (or, Arthur Has A Lot Of Feelings)

It was well past midnight when Arthur's phone rang. Blinking into the darkness, he reached out and grabbed for it on the bedside table. After a moment of fumbling, stretched over the side of the bed, he felt the vibrating on his fingertips and snatched it up. He didn't bother checking the call display before answering.

"I swear to God, Merlin."

There was a shuffling sound from the other end before Merlin spoke. "Arthur, help."

Arthur sat up, suddenly alert. "What’s wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm at home. Well, outside my home. I've locked myself out and- well- I think these kittens think I'm their mum."

It took Arthur a moment to process that, drawing the phone away from his ear to glance at the screen and check the time. "Merlin- what? Why are you even outside, it's like two am."

"I was helping Gaius at the pharmacy and I fell asleep in the back room and now- now I'm being followed by kittens. I don't know what to do!" There was an edge of hysteria in his voice, the kind Arthur knew he only adopted when he was tired and distraught and it was late. The blonde sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was just like Merlin to fall into crisis mode when they both had school in six hours.

"Alright. Can you explain the kittens?"

"I was walking home, right, and I heard a noise like someone was crying so I kind of went and checked it out, and there were these three little kittens just hiding under the neighbours shed and then I coaxed them out a bit and checked around for their mum but then when I tried to leave to go home and get them a box they followed me and I've forgotten my key again and my mum is working the graveyard shift."

Something like the offspring of dread and annoyance coiled in Arthur's stomach. "You went towards the sound of someone crying, on your own, in the dead of night?"

Merlin made a miserable noise in his throat. "I don't know. Yes. I'm tired and I want to go to bed." Arthur felt soft pang of pity for his friend. It was probably cold, and Arthur knew that though he'd never admit it, Merlin was still scared of the dark. Being stranded outside his house in the dead of night was probably more than moderately alarming.

"Have you checked all the windows?"

"Yes I've checked all the windows! I've been out here for ‘round forty minutes, I haven't just been sitting on my arse! What do I do?"

"Alright, alright. Okay, I'm coming." As he spoke, Arthur threw back the covers and swung his legs around the side of the bed. Immediately, he heard Merlin make a distraught noise from the other end of the line.

"No! Ah, no, now I've gotten you out of bed. Arthur! Arthur just go back to bed, I'm being dramatic, if you come all the way here I'll feel awful. I don't even know why I called you, I would've called my mum but she'd have been cross. I'll just wait for her to get home, or walk to Gwaine's."

Arthur rolled his eyes as he pulled on a pair of track pants. "Gwaine lives a thirty minute walk away from you! And I can drive there in fifteen." He debated whether it was worth putting a shirt on and decided yes. Then grabbed an extra sweatshirt for Merlin, knowing the forgetful boy would have left his jacket at home, where it would know be locked in. Merlin continued his attempts to dissuade him.

"But Arthur, what are you even going to do? Break into my house?" Arthur exited his room quietly, slipping past his sisters bedroom door and down the stairs while Merlin went on. When he got to his car, he sighed.

"Merlin."

Silence. Then, "Yeah?"

"Shut up. I'm coming to get you. Try not to get mauled by kittens."

**

"No, Merlin."

"Please, Arthur, they've got no where to go! We can't leave them out in the cold!"

Arthur made a noise half way between a groan and a growl. "Merlin, just get in the fucking car. We have school in five hours. Five. Review for exams. Do you remember exams, Merlin? Those things you need to pass in order to graduate?"

Merlin ignored the plaintive aggravation in his friends voice and continued to look distraught. He was standing on the curb outside his house with three kittens nestled in his arms. Arthur was doing his best to coax Merlin into the car without the kittens while simultaneously battling the urge to get out and strangle him. Coming to pick him up had been an instantaneous decision, but he should have known Merlin would find some way to be difficult once he'd arrived.

"Their mother is probably out hunting or something, and she'll come back and wonder where her kittens are and then she'll be heartbroken and go all alley-cat." His frustration was slowly deteriorating into desperation. It was only made worse by the looming knowledge that he would never win. If he knew anything about Merlin (and he knew a lot about Merlin) he knew that the boy had a bleeding heart softer than all three of the kittens in his arms combined.

Merlin bounced a little on the balls of his feet. "What about your shed, Arthur? They can stay in your shed for the night, it won't be a hassle. Uther won't even know!"  
Arthur sighed and hated himself for actually considering the idea. Merlin was right when he said Uther wouldn't notice. And even if he did, he probably wouldn't have more to say on the subject than 'Handle it, Arthur'. Finally, the blonde sighed and beckoned Merlin into the car. "Fine. Fine. Will you just get in the car?"

Merlin's face split into a grin, radiant even in the darkness, and Arthur indignantly pretended his insides didn't squirm a little at that. He reached over and threw open the passengers side door and Merlin slid in, kittens and all. As they started back towards the Pendragon house, Merlin continued to beam, and Arthur found it increasingly difficult to be annoyed.

**

Merlin insisted on padding a cardboard box with multiple blankets and waiting until all three of the kittens had curled into a ball before leaving the shed, so by the time the two found themselves sneaking through the front door and through the house quietly it was nearly quarter after three in the morning. Merlin hesitated for a moment in the living room, considering the couch uncertainly until Arthur grabbed his wrist and hauled him up the stairs.

They were both silent as they undressed, not wanting to rouse any of the houses other occupants, and weighed down by the heaviness of exhaustion. Merlin kept Arthur's sweatshirt on as he slipped under the pink duvet. (It was not pink by choice, Arthur adamantly told all those who entered his bedroom. It was just a white duvet that had the misfortune of being in the laundry one of the weekends Morgana was out of town and laundry duties fell on his shoulders. Merlin just laughed.) Arthur was caught between laughing or being heart-warmed at the image of it; a tuft of black hair visible above the pink blanket, accented and lit by the dull orange light of the street-lights outside. He didn't realize he was staring until Merlin shuffled a bit and turned to him, eyebrow quirked.

"What are you doing?" His voice was barely above a whisper, husky and low.

Arthur's nervous instinct to laugh won out. "Nothing, nothing. Sorry." He slipped between the covers and settled next to his friend, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from hisbody but not quite touching; the not-quite-contact leaving him a little breathless and a little confused by the nameless longing that seemed to settle over him like a (pink) blanket. Beside him Merlin shifted again, the length of his arm pressing against Arthur's.

"Thanks, Arthur."

There was a beat before Arthur replied. "It's fine. Go to sleep."

Arthur fell asleep to the sound of Merlin's even breathing next to him, a lump in his throat and his skin tingling.

**

They didn't make it to morning classes the next day. Or afternoon classes. Arthur's father was already long gone- not bothering to check in on either of his children before leaving- and it was nearing mid-day by the time they shuffled out of the bedroom, blinking and yawning as they headed towards the smell of coffee. When they entered the kitchen, Arthur's sister raised an impeccably plucked eyebrow at Merlin's sleepy greeting.

"Morning, Morgana."

"Don't you two have exams or something? Shouldn't you be out learning?" She stepped out of the way as Merlin reached for the mugs. A knowing smile tipped the corner of her lips upwards, and Arthur busied himself with getting the milk from the fridge to avoid meeting her eyes. "Or was it a late night?" She said from behind him.

Merlin laughed at that, completely oblivious to the connotations. "I locked myself out of my house again," he said as he poured coffee in both of the mugs he'd withdrawn. Arthur added just enough milk into each and Merlin smiled at him. The smile faltered after a second and Merlin gasped. "Oh! The kittens!"

In one sweeping movement he shoved the mugs into Arthur's hands and turned on his heel, rushing from the kitchen. A second later Arthur heard the sound of the back door opening and closing, leaving him alone with Morgana. He tried to ignore that reality by adding three sugars to Merlin's cup (the same Doctor Who mug he used every time he came over- Arthur wasn't even sure how the thing had made it into his house). After he'd added his own sugar and it was bridging on ridiculously difficult to avoid Morgana's piercing green eyes, he looked up and met them.

She was wearing the smug expression of someone who was completely entertained, and it filled him with a sense of mingled anger and shame. "What are you looking at?" He bit out.

She arched her eyebrow, again, and cocked her head innocently. "Nothing… only the biggest coward I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Really, Arthur, it's spectacular."

He scowled down at her and did his best to look authorative. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Liar!" Her laugh echoed through the kitchen. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm assuming that I'm right to guess that you've yet to take Merlin in a manly fashion?" Arthur tried to repress the blush that worked it's way up his neck, warming his cheeks. Morgana surveyed him for another second and laughed again. "Really? What's your excuse this time?"

"I don't made excuses," Arthur snapped before he could stop himself, "I give perfectly reasonable… reasons."

"Oh really?" She made a face and rose her voice in an unfortunate mockery of her brothers, "Merlin's distracted, Merlin's dim, Merlin's too busy ogling his John Barrowman posters to notice me."

Arthur's blush deepened. "Shut up, okay? I don't want to talk about it." He pushed away from the counter and made to follow Merlin's trail, grabbing the Doctor Who mug from the counter as he went. Morgana made an amused noise from behind him.

He crossed the yard to the shed slowly, reflecting on Morgana's words. Had it been anyone other than her, he didn't doubt that he would have been completely unaffected by her implications. But the thing was, Morgana had always had an uncanny ability to read him. Her ability of predicting his personality was surpassed only by Merlin himself. Luckily enough, though, Merlin was under the pleasant assumption that Arthur was just a really absolutely fabulous friend. Which was also true, Arthur's crush aside.

It wasn't that Arthur had any problem with having feelings for a member of the same sex, he wasn't having some huge internal crisis about it, he was a firm believer in the entire "love is genderless" campaign thing- not to say that he was in love with Merlin- it was just that having feelings for Merlin was… complicated. For one thing, they were best friends. They'd been best friends for years, long enough that Merlin knew Arthur's only true fear (beyond the psychological things like being alone and death) was snakes, and Arthur knew that Merlin's first celebrity crush was Drake from Drake and Josh; Arthur didn't want to so anything to mess up what they had now. And alright, maybe he was a little terrified by the aspect of trying to lay claim on Merlin, because Merlin was wonderful and all at once overwhelming and soothing and completely beautiful.

Arthur halted that train of thought, as he always did, and gently pushed open the door to the shed. As soon as he stepped foot inside, it struck him that something was wrong. Merlin was at the far end of the shed where they'd deposited the kittens box the night before, but he wasn't playing with the kittens or cooing as Arthur would have expected. He was kneeling, keeled over and cradling something. Dread spread loosely through Arthur's limbs, coiling unpleasantly in his muscles. Setting the coffee down on the shelf by the door he ventured into the shed, the cement floor cold against his bare feet.

"Merlin?"

Merlin didn't turn, but straightened up a bit and cleared his throat. Arthur very saw him raise a hand and swipe at his eyes. Without hesitation the blonde went and crouched next to his darker haired friend. In Merlin's arms was one of the kittens from the night before, motionless and- seemingly- dead. Merlin's eyes were red, and his cheeks wet. He avoided Arthur's eyes, staring down into his lap miserably.

"I think that they'd been alone for a lot- a lot longer than we thought." He hiccupped and looked away, embarrassed. In the box below them, the other two kittens sat looking plaintively up at them. Arthur felt assaulted by emotions. Without thinking he reached out and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Merlin…" his voice was softer than he'd intended.

Merlin bit his lip and met Arthur's gaze, blue eyes glassy with tears. "But they were right next door! Maybe if I'd noticed them sooner, or-" he trailed off and bit down on his lip again, looking back at the kitten in his lap.

Arthur looked at him in shock. For the briefest second he felt a flash of annoyance. Because here was Arthur, vehemently trying to deny his feelings for Merlin, trying to get over him and let them just be friends; and here was Merlin, crying because he couldn't save all the orphaned kittens in the world. For a second, Arthur was competely furious with the fact that Merlin was so compassionate, that he was so caring and ridiculously big hearted. And then Arthur was just hopelessly in love with it. With the way Merlin wanted and tried to help everyone, with the way he cradled the kitten in his arms now and looked totally heartrboken, with the way he never gave up on anyone, with how insightfully he always handled Arthur's problems, with how widely he smiled when Arthur did the smallest, tiniest nice thing. With absolutely every small thing about him. And he supposed it was a completely innapropriate time to make such a realization, what with the recent death of a small furry animal and Merlin's complete misery, but for some reason it made absolute sense.

He wanted to say something, to tell Merlin it would be okay because things would always be okay for Merlin if Arthur had any say, but there was a difficult lump in his throat and emotions were crashing over him in what seemed like thousands by the second, and when he opened his mouth nothing came out. So he did the only other thing that he could think of (really, the only thing in his mind) and before he could stop himself he'd hauled Merlin forward and was kissing him.

For a moment it was an awkward angled press of lips on lips, Arthur's brain still far behind his actions. He realized what was happening the same moment Merlin started kissing him back, lips yielding and searching simultaneously and it was more than Arthur had dared hope for, but for some reason he couldn't quite remember why he'd never done this before. Especially when Merlin's lips parted just a little and his tongue grazed Arthur's bottom lip and-

He pulled back suddenly, launching himself to his feet. "Oh shit, Merlin, I'm sorry, that was- ah, shit." Arthur apologized, taking a step back and shaking his head. He didn't quite know why he was apologizing- Merlin had kissed him back, had encouraged it- but he did anyways, a sickening regret solidifying in his mind. He screwed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying very hard to sort through all the emotions and events of the last minute and a half. He hated his inability to handle emotions, hated hated hated it.

"Arthur," Merlin's voice reeled him back to the current moment. It wasn't angry or harsh or breathlessly filled with lust, but a little wondrous. Arthur opened his eyes and looked back down at his friend. Merlin wasn't looking at him, but at the lifeless kitten in his lap- except it wasn't so lifeless. It yawned now, and blinked up at Arthur with big yellow eyes. Arthur stared back.

"But, I checked… She was… I honestly don't-" Merlin stopped, still looking down at the kitten. Suddenly, Arthur laughed. Merlin's eyes snapped up to him, confused and alarmed in equal measure.

Arthur continued to laugh. "Merlin- the kiss- the kiss," he broke off into more laughter and took three deep breaths before continuing, "The kiss of life!" He understood that it was probably an onset of minor hysteria that made him believe the entire ordeal was as funny as he thought it was, but he couldn't make himself stop laughing. Shock flitted across Merlin's face, then he was laughing too.

They laughed until the kitten jumped out of Merlin's lap, aggravated, and tried to make a break for the shed door. Swiftly Arthur swept the kitten up, holding it closely to his chest. Merlin hiccuped again and stopped laughing, leaving them in silence. Arthur cleared his throat and looked at the shed wall.

"Listen, Merlin, I'm sorry, that was completely inappropriate—" he stopped as Merlin started laughing again.

"Shut up, you dick. Just shut up. You're not going to formally apologize for kissing me. No."

Arthur gaped as Merlin rose to his feet and dusted his palms off on his sweatshirt- Arthur's sweatshirt. A small wave of affection clinched Arthur's heart at the way the shirt hung off of Merlin's frame; as though he belonged in it. Merlin raised his head and smiled. "It's fine. It's just- one of those things." He glanced down at the other two kittens in the box and a troubled expression clouded his features. "We should find somewhere for-"

"Wait, what do you mean 'one of those things'?" Arthur frowned and took a step forward, still holding the newly-living kitten. Merlin faltered before sighing and looking away.

"One of those things that makes me think you- well. Don't worry about it, I know how it goes." He stopped, then, almost too quiet for Arthur to hear, added, "though you've really outdone yourself this time." Arthur watched as the dark haired boy considered the box for a second more and declared "Alright, we'll leave them here for now and put up flyers for homes or something" and started back towards the house.

It was barely a heartbeat before Arthur followed, brain kicking into gear "What, makes you think I what, Merlin?" Merlin froze in the middle of the lawn, turning back to him. Arthur soldiered on. "Makes you think that I think you're the most wonderful person I've ever met? What, that I've never known someone with a lovelier heart? That everything about you makes my heart swell up like I'm the emotionally constipated protagonist in a horrible romance novel?" Arthur didn't let himself think about the words tumbling from his lips, but focused instead on Merlin's reaction, because the tiny spark of hope that he'd dared to light was slowly growing into a burning flame.

Merlin didn't respond for a moment, then only said "Arthur…"

"You're an idiot. Of course I do, of course I do."

"I'm the idiot?! You could've- you should've-"

But then Arthur was kissing him again, trying very hard not to think about the fact that they were both idiots and that if he'd been a little less of a coward he could've saved a lot of confusion. Although he was still a little confused. But he was kissing Merlin, and Merlin was kissing him, and Merlin tasted of coffee and mornings and promises, and he was thinking cliché thoughts, and oh, he realized belatedly, he was holding a kitten.

"I'm so confused," he said against Merlin's lips (in the middle of his lawn), a few minutes later.

“I think that we should have a very long talk," Merlin replied between kisses. "Very long. About our feelings. And about what we're going to do with these kittens."

And Arthur agreed but made no attempt to stop the kissing for talking until Morgana leaned out her second story window and started cheering Arthur for 'getting his Barrowman on'.

They eventually did have their talk, and Arthur confessed to being a great coward and Merlin confessed to ignoring all of Arthur's signals and they both agreed to stop being so difficult and then they kissed more. In the end, they made fliers and got rid of two out of three of the kittens. The third, they kept.

**

This is how the next fifteen years went: Arthur made the 'kiss of life' joke more times than Merlin wanted to admit he found funny; they lost their cat a grand total of three times; they both moved out of their parent's homes and into an apartment on top floor of a complex; Morgana dropped in unannounced and fed the cat a ridiculous amount of cat treats; Merlin locked himself out of their apartment at two am one hundred and forty nine times (but Arthur was there to save him every single one of them); and when their kitten finally did die at the end of those fifteen year as an old gray cat, Merlin cried and Arthur kissed him, as he would every time Merlin cried until they both died as old gray men and joined their tiny furry matchmaker in whatever heaven exists.

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: something involving kittens, the colour pink, and the line "Merlin's too busy ogling his John Barrowman Posters to notice me".


End file.
